The Compilations and Covid-19

This journey is so excited but genuinely exhausted. I feel life knock hit down, but I stay just so so, I'm not good enough for this journey.

I feel anxiety for what happens tomorrow. So sad and everything slowly getting bad day by day. I'm grateful now, I can stay home with my family without lack of meal and nutrients, or can enough with comfortable home and facilities. But this lack and break make me annoying all of days. I feel life is just doing what happens today, not have a new hope for tommorow bcs my worrying and anxiety. We can plan A-Z but life said "Just enjoy you don't know what happens tomorrow" or everything is worst.

I feel genuinely excited too, I can learned so much topic that I wanna when my undergraduate but I can't finishing the online course bcs my activity.

I feel geneunely grateful, when I could give some time to myself to be present's guy. Who enjoys the shifting life day by day. I have more time too read books and Qur'an. I have some time to realize what matters to myself. I know life sometimes hit me down but we can learn and take plenty hikmah from this destiny. We can more know ourself.

I feel geneunely bored too, though I'm introvert that home is heaven. But not like that doing all of activity as same as in everyday is totally bored too. I feel what my progress is totally slowly down.

But today, what I want is come true I guess. I can stay more than 1month without a lot of tasking with my family. I can prepare what should I do for the next journeys. New hope is always there, but I don't know when the journey happens. I just trying the best matters for myself. "Best version of myself". I just doing anything, without asking what if, what if's when is not really happen. At least I'm trying.

So after the chaos, muddle,  and mess's life now. I'm okey to be who I'm. I'm okey to be best version of myself in single day.

I know in this day, everyone struggling for their life's. No matter what journey they do. But everyone struggling and striving. So, I can't compare and compate myself and others.

 I know my leaps are Short and little bit progress. But I'm not lost my self. In this day I'm finding my self. I really do what's matters to myself. Instead of everyone said is just so so. But is one of means to my life. I know is too long journey ahead. But I'm exited too, to doing so well to myself and others.